my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work
(Source: churchofcheesus)
- relatives: any boyfriends/girlfriends?
- me: no
- typical conversation at every holiday since I was 5
- Teacher: Why did you not study?
- Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!
I want her hair
Ugh, I hate it when people say “Fuck the police”.
Don’t just fuck the police.
Take the police out on a couple dates. Take the police to the movies or a nice stroll in the park. Feed the police some delicious fondue. Make the police fall in love with you. Then, fuck the police. And then out of nowhere, stop taking calls from the police. Ignore the police. Make the police miss you. Make the police cry.
(Source: parjars)
- me: does 5 situps
- me: where are my abs
Reblog if English isn’t your first language.
(Source: secretsbest)
(Source: sluts-everywheree)
(Source: husssel)
- musicians: stop illegally downloading our music we're broke
- kids: but we're broke too
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